Love Limbo #8

She speaks of love as if she has mastered it-
Although she hasn’t had a full grasp of it.
Infatuated with movie scenes
Of being captivated by the man of her dreams
Caught in between—hopeful,hopeless,love and hate-
Searching for the one who will reciprocate
All she has to give.
Sleepless nights—dedicated to write
All the wrong.
Her soundtrack is a sad love song,
No music—just poems.
Sad symphonies sung by a heart
Looking for a place to call home.

The Poet’s Curse

Fuck my heart for it has mused him…

When my mind was set to use him
For amusement….
He became its favorite rhyme
And is now the new curse I try to
Reverse, verse after verse…
Its loud beat keeps me from sleep…
I’m counting words instead of counting
Sheep…
Romanticizing theories however long or brief…
Revisiting what was…
Imagining what could be…

Fuck my heart for being so deep…

-ChristinaDelCarmen

Double Negatives

She’s a no love seeking-
Fairytale believing-
Or late night romance-
Novel type reading-
Kind of girl.
Of a perfect man she is never dreaming.
Full of cynicism or so it is seeming,
That she cares for no man at all.

She has mastered the one night stand,
Designed the format and follows the Plan:
“Never kiss on the lips or hold on to hands;
No love allowed-nope! Not At all.”

She keeps a few in rotation
And all at a distance.
Remains unattached
So she won’t miss them.
Plays the good guys out,
So she don’t feel the urge to fix them;
Then drops them with no remorse at all.
But deep down she’s just really tired,
Of all the games and all of the liars.
Truth is–she is looking to feel inspired
But has had no luck at all.

-ChristinaDelCarmen

Heartbreak Queen

Heartbreak Queen:
Let down your guard
Before you take off your dress,
Don’t you know making love
Is better than having sex.

Heartbreak Queen:
Stop pushing away the good guys,
Not every word they say
Is constructed out of lies.

Heartbreak Queen:
Don’t be so hard,
I know your heart is still fragile
Your soul is decorated with scars.

Heartbreak Queen:
Learn to let go of past pain,
Not every man you meet
Should be put to blame.

Heartbreak Queen:
Stop hiding behind bottles and cigarettes,
They won’t ever numb the pain
But will leave you full of regret.

Heartbreak Queen:
Learn self love first,
Only when you value yourself
Will a man appreciate your worth.

-ChristinaDelCarmen

The Harvest Moon

I sat outside the night before the Harvest Moon was full…trying to exhale my thoughts with a cigarette through every single pull…my head was heavy with envy because the sky was so clear that night…it felt like all the weight of the stars,in the world, were contracting inside my mind…and there was the Moon…spying on me behind a cloud…she bickered at me… “SILENCE YOUR THOUGHTS—FOR THEY ARE FAR TOO LOUD!”…

I took another pull of my cigarette and asked… “What ever do you mean?”…her response was as cliche as my heart sometimes… “Things aren’t always as they seem”…then she proceeded to laugh in my face because she knew what I’ve done…I had become temporarily smitten by a version of the Sun…I tried to explain myself and how the situation unfolded…how my schemes are being judged and now my identity is being molded…I had to light another cigarette…and I think she did too…cause every blow of smoke from mine resembled the clouds around her…as if it was a drag she just took….

Then I asked…”Why am I always right for the wrong?…does that mean I’m wrong for the right?…I know it’s too much to ask and we only have the night…but I’m really trying to understand…am I not good enough for someone to take a risk?…am I not worth the gamble?…can I be so easily forgotten?…tell me the truth—that’s all I’m willing to handle…”

Then with a side smirk on her face one that I know too well she replied…”I have a secret for you that I must tell and can no longer hide…every time you meet one…you tend to share our romance…you introduce them to my light and suddenly my glow is enhanced…you tell them how much you love me and soon they begin to understand…that such a beauty as mine will never be matched nor created by man…you write poems about me…the way you write about them…and for a moment they feel special because I’m Mother Moon and they’re just men…it’s like comparing God to the Devil when your thoughts reach that pen in your hand… our presence is more appreciated than you think but with your absence is that they understand”…

I interrupted her and said…“Really it’s not that deep…I pen these words about them so that at night…I could sleep…anyway what’s your point?”…and with hesitation she replied… “Even with my flawed surface I am the most sought-after in the night sky… but to see beyond imperfection requires a willing set of eyes…as for you being forgotten…not so easily…imagine what it would it be like…to have me brought down from the sky…have me walk around the earth like another human-being…now when they look up at me…it is you they are seeing…engraved in their mentality your presence has left a mark…a million stars can shine up in the sky…but your Moon is the one they look for when it’s dark…”

The End.

-ChristinaDelCarmen

Pain Is Easy

I can’t help it…
I have a pain in my heart,
The more I try to dissect it
It breaks me apart.
I’m constantly lying to myself:
One day I’ll fall in love through a kiss
But I had a negative reaction to the spell.
I try to fix my broken heart
In these poems-
But all they do is emphasize that
I’ve always been in love…alone.
Shakespeare said, “What’s in a name?
That which we call a rose by any other
Name would smell as sweet.”
Well…love is pain and it’s all the same bitter scent to me.
Would Romeo and Juliet
Stand a chance if they could’ve been together?
Would their story make such an impact
If the clock was set to forever?
I wasn’t always this way
I used to believe in magic-
But love experienced me to say
That it is nothing else but tragic.
I used to anticipate first kisses
That’ll lead me to becoming a Mrs.
But when I gave my heart-
It was returned drained and in pieces.
Why do I fall in love with
These blood-sucking leeches?
I tried being a “good woman,”
Be loyal to a man
Accept his flaws, make him beautiful
Be as understanding as I can.
But what did love do for me?
Infect me with ills. My prescription
Is to swallow this fucking bitter pill. So
I rather deal with the pain.To know nothing is
Meant to last. That people fall out of
Love and their future becomes a past.
Pain is easy, I’ve learn to sabotage
Any potential. If I feel caterpillars about
To transform to butterflies, I fuck up and
Make it look accidental. Pain is easy,
I’m in a long-lasting relationship with sadness.
It has made me realistic and forget love
And all its madness.

-ChristinaDelCarmen

La Luna Llena

En mis noches oscuras
Tu brillas por mi-
En mis noches solitaria
Tu me haces revivir.

Eres como una fuente
Cuándo regala tu luz-
Eres como un médico
Curando mi pobre salud.

Cuándo no tengo con quien hablar
Me espera fuera mi ventana-
Cuándo baja el sol
Espero tu llegada.

Eres como una amiga
Siempre confío en ti-
No me mientas
Y no te tengo que mentir.

Te digo mi secretos
Y así siempre se quedaran-
Mi querida Luna llena
Que me espera fuera mi ventana.