Illusionist

I dug in to his bag of tricks
Fell for his abracadabra and his magic stick–
I didn’t mean to fall
I should’ve stopped after the first trip–
I didn’t believe in magic but I was infatuated with his–
I forfeited my womanhood
When he turned me into another bitch–
Participant in his freak show
Spell-bound off the tip
And more and them some–
I didn’t invent him
He was real but an illusion
Can you understand my confusion?
I need to get out this trance
I lost my stance–
I fell into his top hat
And in a snap got pulled out–
Now my heart is full of doubt
Was it magic or just tragic?
In the meantime I’ll just pull out
My rabbit…

-ChristinaDelCarmen

The Poet’s Curse

Fuck my heart for it has mused him…

When my mind was set to use him
For amusement….
He became its favorite rhyme
And is now the new curse I try to
Reverse, verse after verse…
Its loud beat keeps me from sleep…
I’m counting words instead of counting
Sheep…
Romanticizing theories however long or brief…
Revisiting what was…
Imagining what could be…

Fuck my heart for being so deep…

-ChristinaDelCarmen

Golden Stars (part 2)

So…we sat on a park bench…over-looking the Hudson on a summery Sunday night…right then and there I was unaware that I’d be inspired to write…

I mean the mood was set as you sat there and played with my hair…and for a split-second I forgot the mice behind us were even there…I guess that happened when you spoke about your eye surgery from two or three Aprils ago…or how you allegedly claimed to have seen a UFO….

I might’ve been tipsy off your charm…cause next thing I knew I lightly licked your ear…then you kissed me…I kissed back and all the joggers and the smoker two benches from us…disappeared…

Or was it the nutcracker or the shot of whiskey…the conversation about constellations…or the verses you spit for me…maybe it was the scent of your cologne…or the inviting look in your eyes…Whatever it was…I was essentially placed in a poet’s paradise…

But fuck it…that’s not what this poem is about…you gave me a writing topic weeks ago that I’m still trying to figure out…sitting here in my sober reality…trying to put it down in writing…for the first time in a while the city lights I was admiring…and how they were reminiscent of gold glitter lighting up the water that night…and in that moment I realized this is what Golden Stars must look like.

-ChristinaDelCarmen